This story was shared with me . It is such a touching and beautiful experience and I wanted to share with all of you. Thank you Tommy for allowing me to share.
The Dream
This is a true story about a dream. A dream that has changed my life. A dream that has changed my views. A connection , possibly to another place and time. Not an ending…but a beginning.
My Story
My mom had gotten Cancer back in 1984-1985. When she got the news, that she had breast cancer she did whatever she could to fight this. She would go to the doctors to get treatments and then would be sick for days on end. As soon as she would start to feel better, she was back for more treatments.
She grew very tired, but she was a very strong-willed person who loved her family. She was the strength of our family. She always knew just what to say if you were having a bad day. She had a smile and always a wink in her eye. You just knew it was going to be ok.
Life wasn’t easy for a woman who barely stood five feet tall. It wasn’t easy being with my father and the problems he had. But she was a strong-willed person who believed in all good things. She gave us the values we have today. She worked long hours as a nurse taking care of the very old and sick. It was by far, a very hard job.
She once told me a story about the night my sister, Mary had died. Mary had gotten sick and was taken to the hospital. The night Mary passed, I remember my mom telling me about a light that was shining in her room and something about a shadow. She went into the room and the light and the shadow were both gone. A few minutes later the phone rang and it was the hospital. They needed my mom and dad to come to the hospital right away, but by the time they got there my sister had already passed away.
My sister Mary died December 23, 1955. Did that light or shadow mean something that night? December 23, 1955 stayed with her for the rest of her life. Every year, as far back as I can remember, she would sit in the dining room with the lights out and cry. Just looking out into the December night’s sky. With Christmas Eve the next day she would be doing all that she could with the little she had to make Christmas for her family the very best. Mom would put aside her broken heart, to make sure her family had a Christmas. Christmas Eve was my mom’s holiday, she loved Christmas! Mom would always make sure who ever came into our home got a gift. You would never leave her house empty-handed. If you just stopped in to say hello you left with something. A beer, some food or a Merry Christmas hug. She was a wonderful person.
The Spring of 1987
Mom’s season was Spring. It was time for re-birth after a long winter. She loved the flowers and planting. She would collect the flowers from the yard and place them in a vase. That smell would go throughout the house. To her, Spring was a fresh start. It was also the month she was born., April 10, 1930. I remember my sister, Teri telling me how much my mom loved Spring.
The Spring of 1987 would be her last. Mom passed away on Good Friday, April 17, 1987. A rainy cold night. I remember leaving the house with Laura. We were going to get something to eat. I told her we needed to go to the hospital instead. Mom passed soon after we arrived. I was there when she took her last breath on this earth…I remember sitting next to her and just holding her hand, and then she was gone. My life was never going to be the same again. My heart was broken. The women who had given so much of herself was gone. How would life ever be the same?
Mom was buried on a beautiful Spring day, April 22, 1987. The weeks and months that followed Mom’s death were not easy. I started drinking and partying real hard. I experienced bad hangovers that would last for days. I wasn’t sleeping much and ate when I could. I was burning that candle at three ends! I knew how much I was hurting inside and I just wanted to get away from it all.
I remember moving back with my dad. To try to help him out as much as I could, but it wasn’t easy. So the Summer of 1987 became a Summer of “what if’s…”. What was I going to do? Move out or stay? I really didn’t know and sometimes I felt completely lost, while trying to find the answers.
One night we were sitting in front of my house and I remember telling my wife, Laura that if I don’t stop doing what I’m doing, sooner or later it’s going to catch up with me. I wasn’t sober when I told her this…but she knew what I was saying. Laura agreed with me. I moved back into my Dad’s house to help as much as I could
A few more months had passed and I was still grieving the great loss of my mom. I just wanted her to know how much I missed her. I wanted to tell her, how sorry I was. I needed to know, how she was. I needed to talk to her again…just one more time. My heart was broken and I was lost.
Early October 1987, I was still living at my Dad’s house. What happened later month WOULD CHANGE MY LIFE FOREVER.
Following is my story, my dream…the connection.
It was late afternoon, we were watching TV in the spare room and I had fallen asleep. I truly believe my soul had left my body. What follows has been embedded into my heart, my mind and my soul.
My dream…
I began walking down a snow-covered street. I was on my way home. There was no one else on the streets, no cars, nothing …just me. I would always walk the same way home. Suffolk Avenue to the short cut over the rail road tracks to O’Neill school. Then cutting across the very large field, it would bring me over another set of rail road tracks. I would cross over and it would lead right to the top of my block, Lowell Avenue and Hemlock Street. I have walked this same way my entire life.
But on this day, I was led to go the long way home. I followed Suffolk Avenue to Lowell Avenue, until I came to my block, Hemlock Street. As I approached that area where I would normally cut through, I heard someone calling my name. I crossed the street, went up the side of the rail road tracks and was now looking across the snow-covered field. As I looked across the field, I saw a train sitting in the station. It was strange to see this train sitting in this station, being that train station was about a half a mile to the west of Suffolk Avenue at the time.
As I stared at this train, one set of doors had begun to open and someone was calling my name. I walked through the snow-covered field and made my way up on the level where the train was sitting. As I got closer the car a brilliant bright light began to shine out of it! Out of this light, there stood my mom. She came out just enough to where she was still on the train and she was standing in this brilliant light. She was beautiful! She wasn’t sick and she had a glow to her that I have never seen before.
Then she started to speak…she said she was okay and that everything is going to be fine and for me to stop worrying about her. I tried so much to talk to her but I could not speak. I started to cry, the tears came down like rain drops, but as much as I tried to talk to her, I just couldn’t. I was told to listen…I was not allowed to speak. “Live your life for it’s a gift, I’m going to be okay, you can stop worrying about me”. She said to me, one last time, “I’m going to be okay, stop worrying about me and you’re going to be fine” . She backed into the train and the doors closed. The train left the station. I stood there crying, wanting so much to talk to her and she was gone…again.
The next thing I remember, I was waking and Laura was asking what was wrong. I woke up crying, it took me a while to stop. I was scared and really didn’t know what just had happened. I then told Laura about the dream, or was it a dream? The days and weeks that followed, were strange. The more I thought of the dream, it became even more clear and parts seem to make more sense. But one part of the dream that never made any sense at all was, why was my sister Cathy there? Cathy was standing just behind my mom, to her right, in the brilliant light that was shining out of that train.
I have never spoken a word of this dream to anyone other than Laura. She was there with me when this all began. It’s something we share to this day. I told Laura how beautiful it was and just how real it felt.
The days, weeks and years that followed that dream had changed so many things in my personal life. I stopped smoking, I gave up partying, I quit drinking, almost to the point that some of my friends thought I was in re-hab. To this day, I have never been drunk. I still have a couple of beers now and then, but never to the point of being drunk and stupid. Everything was changing for the better, since that dream…
I had found the women of my dreams, Laura in 1986. She had played a tremendous part in my life, as well as my twin sons, Jason and Justin. My twins were getting a little older and we were all becoming more like a family. There were still little bumps in the road but we always seemed to work them out.
As time went by, so many more things have changed, since the dream. I was having my house built-in 1993. The following year, 1994, Laura and I married. On May 6, 1996, our son, Nicholas was born. I would think about that dream a lot and it was like putting a puzzle together. I was trying to find the connection to all of the good things that were happening in my life.
As I look back over all the years that have passed, I truly see how much my life had changed since the dream. Everything changed for the better! But why? Everyone has dreams. I know mine was special and I truly believe it did change my life. But…was it just a dream? Or, was it much, much more than just a dream? I would now find the connection to the beginning of this dream. The part that I could not figure out for almost 22 years.
The Winter of 2008
My sister, Cathy married my best friend, Patrick. They met one night, back in 1981 when Patrick and I were out having a few drinks. I still remember the night she came into the bar with some of her friends. I introduced Cathy to Pat and told her. he’s a great guy. They soon started dating . A few years later they were married. My sister found her Prince Charming and I was so glad that I was the one who brought them together. They lived on Long Island for a few years, but after a hunting trip, Patrick fell in love with upstate, NY. Cathy loved it too. They left Long Island for a new life in a new home. This is where they would spend the rest of their lives together.
The Winter of 2008 brought us all heartbreaking news. My dear sister Cathy had gotten sick. She went for a series of test and they came back as to her having Lung Cancer. It was the kind of cancer no one wanted. It was the news that none of us wanted to hear. My heart was broken when I was told. I was sitting in the dining room having coffee when all of a sudden it hit me, like a ton of bricks! Is this the reason, why my dear sister Cathy was in that dream that I had 22 years ago?
This is the first time I’d ever spoken about this part of my dream. My wife, Laura was the first person to know. She had only found out that morning after I had gotten word just how bad my sister was.
Cathy was going to be the first to pass away out of her brothers and sister. This was the reason she was on that train in my dream 22 years ago. When you count a number, you always count left to right. My sister was standing to the left of my mom on the train. That would put her to my mom’s right, looking out of the train at me. Can this be the connection? The connection, why my dear sister was in that dream?
Over the next few months we would talk on the phone. I tried telling her that everything was going to be okay. We traveled to her home upstate to visit with her. She was scared and crying . All I could do was hold her and pray to God to please give her a fighting chance. Easter was coming and she wanted to travel to Long Island to see us. She was feeling strong and made the trip. It was very sad to see my sister so sick. We all went out Friday night, Good Friday and she wanted shrimp! She said it made her feel better.
Easter Sunday would be the last time I would see my sister. My sister Terri had us all over for Easter dinner. It was one of the first time we were all together on Easter Sunday in many years. I will treasure that day for the rest of my life.
Over the next few weeks things were slowly getting worse for Cathy. She was in a great deal of pain. They started giving her radiation to help the pain and shrink the tumor. The radiation was slowly taking it’s toll. Thursday, June 4th would be the last time I would speak to my dear sister Cathy. I called her to see how she was feeling. My heart was breaking for her. I could not find the words to say to help her. She was crying so much. The sickness and the pain was so terrible. She told me she wanted to give up. I cried with her and told her to hold on, that when the treatments with radiation was over she would start to feel better and her strength would start to come back, it would be okay.
My sister passed away at the young age of 51. June 7th, 2009, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The following days were filled with heartbreaking sorrow. My heart was broken again… When someone you love has passed you try to make some kind of sense about it. We reach down into our souls to try to find the answers, the meaning. Why? Cathy would be the first of us to pass. I started thinking about the dream more and more. The vision I had 22 years ago was starting to make sense.
We traveled upstate to say goodbye to my sister Cathy. Seeing Patrick broke my heart. He loved my sister dearly. I could have never asked for a better man than my friend Patrick to be my sister’s husband. He took very good care of Cathy throughout time that she was sick. He was also by her side when she took her last breath on this earth. My sister was laid to rest in the town she and Patrick called home. I could see why she loved it there. I’m glad it would be her resting place. Upstate, NY was truly her home.
We returned home to Long Island with heavy hearts. The days and weeks that passed seemed different. The sorrow and the pain of losing my sister was still there, but my inner soul had a feeling of peace. Like I knew that everything was going to be okay. I knew my sister’s soul had found it’s new home.
A month or so after my sister Cathy had passed, my wife asked me if I had spoken to my sister Terri. I told her no, and she said my sister needed to speak with me. I asked her about what, she said she had a dream about Cathy right before she died. Laura said I needed to speak with her and that we needed to talk. I asked he what the dream was about, again she said you need to talk to her. I told Laura I would give Terri a call. I never got a chance to call her, my father in law’s health had taken a turn for the worse.
October 2009
Over the past year, my father in law, Bill had been very sick . His battle with cancer had also taken it’s toll and he was coming to the last days of his life. I went to visit him on Sunday morning, October 27th. I needed to tell him how much I loved him. He needed to know how much he meant to me. When I got to the hospital he was sleeping. I remember sitting next to him just holding his hand. He woke up, but he could not open his eyes, although he was able to speak to me. I told him everything was going to be okay and he was going to be fine. I told him I loved him and thanked him for all he had done for my family and I over the years. I promised him I would always take care of his little girl, Laura. With tears coming down his face he held my hand and said Thank you.
With his family by his side, my father in law passed in his sleep in the early hours of October 28, 2009. The morning of his funeral we came to the funeral home a little early. My wife wanted to spend just a little more time with her dad before the services started. As I got of the car, I was met by my sister Terri. Laura looked at me and said, “you guys need to talk“. It was a rainy gray morning and here we were standing in the rain. I asked Terri what she needed to say to me. I knew it was something about a dream. As soon as she started to tell me about the dream she had, I began crying. The connection to the dream I had 22 years ago was standing right in front of me!
A day before my sister Cathy had passed my sister Terri had a dream about her. These are the words from my sister Terri’s dream.
They were walking along together, when all of a sudden my sister Cathy started to run away from Terri. Terri ran and tried to catch up with Cathy. When she did catch up with Cathy, Terri asked her, “where are you going”? Cathy said , “I have to leave, it’s time for me to go”. Again Terri said, “but where are you going”? Cathy started up a staircase and turned to my sister Terri and said, “I have to catch the train, it’s time for me to go”. Cathy entered into the train and she was gone. Cathy passed the next day.
I then told Terri of my dream that I had 22 years ago. Other than Laura, I have never spoken a word to anyone about this part of the dream. No one ever knew that Cathy was standing in my mom’s shadow. So now we were both standing there in the rain crying. We hugged each other and knew that we made some kind of a connection. We went inside to be with my wife and her family to say goodbye to my father in law.
So, what does this mean and why am I telling this story now?
I truly believe, that people need to know and find comfort in knowing that something special awaits us all. A place that is more beautiful than any one of us could ever imagine. A place where we will one day find the ones we love and miss so dearly. A place like no other…
The dreams that Terri and I had almost 22 years apart are real. How my life has changed. I look at life in a much different way. I try not to let the small things in life get to me anymore. I have learned a great deal since that dream. Life is full of crossroads, we don’t know what tomorrow may bring. It is what we learn along the way and the changes we can make today for a better understanding on what awaits us. This place doesn’t offer a free ride. You have to earn the ticket to ride the train. This has nothing to do with religion, but more to do with faith. For it is faith that awaits us all.
I now tell people about this dream. Maybe, just maybe, it will help them in their time of loss and sorrow. Some people might say and think, “What you found God?”…and my reply, “I never knew he was lost!”.
I went through a very tough time in my younger life. Losing the ones we love is never easy. All of us will go through this at some point in our lives. That snow-covered field that I walked across 22 years ago in my dream, well guess what? In that exact spot, now sets a train station! I was the one lost! He just found me…
My story is dedicated to my mother and sister Cathy.
T.C.
I had to share this story…
Necole Stephens ~ Blog 